So many questions...

I have SO many questions in this head of mine and I have no idea the answer to any of them. My fiance says he's stressed out... but try being stressed out, pregnant, and feeling worthless at the same time.

Is it wrong that I get upset that we cant even get thru ONE movie without him having to get on the phone?

Is it wrong that I want so bad to be pampered just a little bit (I mean... I know what I would do for someone that was going thru carrying a child... ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING!)??

How can I afford whats about to happen??

How can I pay MORE bills than I have the means to? It's not that I dont want to, I want to contribute to the house and our lives more than anything but any extra that I'm making goes to just ONE bill that I didnt have before and then I'm right back where I was to begin with.

Is it wrong that I dont want to clean up his ice cream cup every freakin time he asks me to make him a milkshake or put his dishes/trash away after EVERY meal?

Is it wrong that I want dinner made for ME one night?

Is it wrong that I'm sick of being pregnant lol? I'm so ready for the next stage!

Is it wrong to just want some one on one time with my fiance? WITHOUT PHONES OR OTHER PEOPLE ALWAYS HAVING TO BE AROUND?? I know most of his call's have something to do with work but come on... is ONE movie with your pregnant fiance to much to ask?

I'm SO overwhelmed I dont know which way's up right now. I went from being in my parents house and having almost no responsibility other than my car payments, insurance, phone, and dogs to moving in to a new house where we have all the extra bills I've never had to deal with before. POWER BILL. DIRECT TV BILL. MORTGAGE PAYMENT. LAND PAYMENT. A CHILD ON THE WAY. A MORE EXPENSIVE PHONE BILL BC THERES 2 OF US. Lord knows what else im leaving out! I feel like such a burden and I HATE it! If I hadn't come into Casey's life he would have had 2 roommates to help out with the mortgage... thats at least $800 he would have had. He wouldnt have had a child coming into his life which is NO inexpensive endeavor. He wouldnt have me wanting all his time or a dog that gets on couch and sheds (which he despises). He wouldnt have had to get me an engagement ring or stress out about the bills as much. I just feel IN THE WAY like I always have. There's nothing that makes me a help... only a hinder... and its the worst feeling in the world. If I wasn't pregnant I could at least get a second job of some kind to help out which would also get me out of his way at home.

So what do I do? How do I get myself out of this "slump" before Ryder gets here so that I can try and be positive and the best role model for him possible? I want more than anything to be an amazing mother to him... but with all this stuff on my mind is that possible? It's about the only things that would make me feel worth anything.

Ok I'm done ranting for now. Thanks for listening... maybe one day I'll be able to figure something out.

Oh... but I do have to say that Casey is an amazing person that does try really hard to be 100% supportive. He wants to be the provider and definitely show's me that he cares. It's just the little things I'm missing :(