Are all lies equal? Why do they have to hurt so bad? What's this mean?
I come to you with open arms, share my everything with you, treat you with respect and devotion, do for you what I would want someone to do for me, gave my heart once again and for what? Just to end up in the same place that I have been caught before? I've been through this... Ive been through the lies and the deceit. How can you hurt me just like I've been hurt so many times before! Please tell me what I did to deserve this! I share with you every small detail of myself, let you in when I didnt know it was possible to let yet another person know me this way. Vulnerable. It's like a never ending cycle that has no end. IM NOT A TOY! IM A PERSON! A person that just so happened to fall for the person that I thought you were! How can I get past this and move on? Can we still pursue this? Is there any point? Should I give my trust to you again? GOD I FEEL LIKE BREAKING DOWN AND SO COMPLETELY LOST!
I want to be anyone but me right now.
How can I like you so much? How can I crave your attention, your touch, desire to have you in my life or even dream about having you as my one and only for the rest of my life if you can just lie to me like this? How do you expect me to think you care about me at all? Am I disrespecting myself by thinking its possible to continue on this road? How am I ever supposed to feel as if im enough now? I already had these fears and insecurities... and now I'm stuck wondering if I'm what you really want.
Look I know I'm far from perfect... but I mean the words I say when I tell you that I care about you, when I say that you deserve the world. I would NEVER do this to you though!! I would never make you second guess my love for you by doing something so stupid and selfish! One lie leades to another so what else are you not telling me?!?! Is this impossible? My heart is PURE so quit fucking with it!!!
Do this to me one more time... I dare you!!! You have me right now but on a thin string. My heart still yells for you but at the same time I cannot let it be broken AGAIN. Its wierd not being mad... to just be completely disappointed in everything I thought that was. Can this be overcome or am I being rediculous for still standing here? Am I fighting another loosing battle thats going to end up with another piece of myself being voided?? I want you MF but you have no clue how bad I'm fighting myself to stay in this... I have all the hope in the world for us... but I will NOT be put through LIES.
When you ask yourself if you can get past the lies, remember that you already have trust issues. If you already have trust issues from previous relationships, then you have to ask yourself (and answer honestly) "Were my previous relationships able to get past the lies?"
ReplyDeleteYou CAN'T have love without trust. Strong feelings..yes, potential love...yes, but you can't have actual 1 Cor 13 without trust. Just remember that. Love ya sweetie, and I know sometimes what I say is blunt and maybe harsh, but I wouldn't be a friend if I didn't tell you the truth.